Includes actual instructions! "You might not think that a book about cleaning could be funny but this made me laugh out loud" ( The Financial Times).   For many reasons, men often neglect housekeeping chores—even when they share the house with other humans who wish they could get some help in that department. How to Get Things Really Flat combines witty observations, true tales of family life, useful information that takes the mystery out of such phenomena as dishwashers and vacuums, and answers to timeless questions including:   When dusting, where does the dust go? What is the worst thing that can happen while ironing? Is housework therapeutic? How can I impress people with bicarbonate of soda? Aren't men supposed to be dirty? And more!   "A delightfully amusing tale about the joys and tribulations of doing housework that also serves as a very good primer on how to actually do housework . . . His main target audience is men. But women, I think, will also find Martin's observations funny and many of his tips helpful . . . And if, after laughing your way through Martin's text, you're still not into doing housework, he has a tip for that, too: Hire a cleaner." — Minneapolis Star-Tribune   "Martin's lighthearted but quite handy guide looks at the reasons why men don't help out around the house as much as they ought to and proposes what can be done about that . . . After reading this offbeat and thoroughly delightful guide to housework, it's hard to imagine anyone not wanting to give this stuff a try. Martin does what your mother never could: he makes doing chores seem fun, exciting, and rewarding." — Booklist